For the longest time, I have been a big fan of Evanescence. Although I don't follow the band's life in general, their music was much more important to me than controversies--especially with Amy Lee's case having been in a relationship with Seether's vocalist for the longest time but parted ways bitterly. The album the band released after her breakup with Shaun was "The Open Door". I instantly bought it with my own money when it was out.
I first heard the band while I was a DJ in M.O.R. Cotabato. Like everyone else, I listened to "Bring Me To Life" and I got completely hook. And just like everyone else, their music was confused by the mainstream as a mixture of goth and something else. I was one of those that got fooled by this mix up but I am glad that it had been cleared out sooner.
Their music was dark, there is no denying to that. What's more amazing is the band's vocals. Amy Lee has a great voice and to front a band with a voice like that singing with music like that was just like one of the many dreams I wanna achieve in life. I simply wanna be in her state as well, so becoming a powerful vocalist had been my passion for a decade. So far, I have achieved this aspect in my life in some sort of a way, but still I need more practice. Having known Amy Lee's adolescence as a member of their school choir, that even made it harder for me since I have never been part of the choir in my high school. In fact, I refrained from it because of my introvert personality then.
I did what I can to improve myself and just by listening to Evanescence made me go further as a vocalist. Even today, my talent was because of my perseverance and drive to be just like Amy Lee in Evanescence in a much darker sense.
"The Open Door" was the second album I bought from them (the first one was "Fallen"). So having heard the news of their new album release got me all excited. I even listened to the lyrics video that they posted in Vevo. And while it wasn't that dark as I expected it to be, I still hear her powerful voice. That alone was enough for me to decide to buy their new album when it finally comes out in our local music stores.
Today, I saw the update from their Facebook page about their new video up in Vevo. For the longest time, I have endured what this music video site has done to viewers like me. With their whoring of licences for copyrights on YouTube, they are able to diminish other channels from uploading originals because of "supposed" copyright infringement. Obviously, this is a capitalist movement and today they have finally done it when they successfully made it impossible for the rest of the world to watch Evanescence's new video of their new single from their new album. Simply put, I can't watch the video.
And this is why I have decided to end my fandom with the band (just like when I stopped listening to Silverchair when "Young Modern" came out). By allowing the capitalists to own their rights and making it exclusive only in the U.S., I am disappointed. I have no reason to support this band anymore. I have always looked up to them and hoped that everything goes well for the band after all that shit they have gone through, but this is just too much to take. Shutting the door in my face just because I am not from America? Amazing way to impress fans worldwide.
So now, I bid my farewell to Evanescence. It had been an experience quite memorable, even a passion unforgettable, but I think looking up to them was a regrettable mistake. True that it improved my talents, but maybe I should've looked somewhere else instead to continue more of this sparked drive.
Which reminds me... Tarja Turunen anyone? Tee hee~
Lately, I've been getting in touch with my inner goth. What is it exactly? It's sorta like I feel gothic but I can't seem to express it in fear of being judged by family members. I know how they can be the most difficult people in your life and it's confusing why they do it out of love and protection.
I have just been recently throwing my inhibitions of family judgment away from myself. It had been holding me back for many years and I am very regretful why nobody told me to believe in myself sooner than now. I've lived a rough childhood with my brothers and I had to experience first-hand the cruel ways of life. As they say, "experience is the best teacher", but not everyone can handle these experiences very well.
I have to discover everything all by myself.
Now in my late 20's, I feel rather more like of a child than an adult when I should be like an adult. Matters of figures somehow reminds me of one of the very first children's books I've read by Exupery ("The Little Prince").
I found out in my early 20's that people in my age at that time are in a state of "identity crisis" and that it is quite normal for us to be ever searching for something in our lives to finally represent ourselves to the world. That may include being true to yourself while majority tend to become who they are not. It's a frustrating battle within yourself and it takes a pretty toll in our time.
In my case, it was rather difficult having to experience tragedy before I can even get to decide who I am really in life. I've always embraced my Grunge roots and Metal had always been my outlet for my anger management issues. Industrial gave me a great deal of fun and Alt gave me great friends to mingle. Somehow, Goth had a very special place in all of it eventhough my only source of goth music are most particularly from the mainstream which doesn't really tap into the real Goth music.
So what really Goth people are like? From my point of view, Goths are a bunch of intelligent and polite people embracing the darker and weirder and stranger sides of life. Somehow, I do embrace the insanity, the madness, the darker depths and the weird. And that is why I feel the inner Goth in me.
And since my inhibitions are long gone, I'm slowly transforming myself to what I really wanna represent myself to the world. Whatever that is, I think we'll just have to wait and see. One thing's for sure though, I am embracing the dark side with kind arms.
What? What is all this? Did I just make a debate for myself? All these dark entities brooding right before me is making my creative juices flow like they've never before. Well, maybe a little but it really got me curious to the point of actually writing a blog for it.
Okay so, do I really need to tell you all the summaries of these two animes? Come on. Go figure it out yourself. I'm not gonna feed you with that. I'm here to express my thoughts on this debate.
On this debate, I choose Hell Girl. Why? Simple. Right on the first episode I got hooked. With Death Note, there was nothing. I even went to watching 4 more episodes just to pique my interests, but none. I don't understand why the story has to be that complicated that I have to watch 4 episodes with nothingness.
Death Note was born onto the mainstream because of, well, people--specifically kids, teenagers to be exact. Putting up "L" on their Facebook profile pictures, declaring how they loved the series. I admire their passion, really, but I don't see the point of loving it too much. It's getting too popular and conventional that I just practically ignored it and continued watching "Higashi no Eden" (Eden of the East) at the time when I was offered to watch Death Note to balance my opinions out.
I couldn't really understand it. The prologue took about 3 episodes for the anime series to explain the story. On the 4th ep, my friend told me that it's where the story gets pumping. And I'm like, "You know what? Screw this shit. I'm already on my 4th ep and I still get nothing? I watched the first episode of Higashi no Eden and I was completely hooked. I even watched 3 of the movies!" He was still taunting me to watch the 5th as a passive suggestion to me just so I could get interested, but I am stubborn and I never get to watching the next episode.
Now, I can't shake the similarities of Hell Girl to Death Note, but, of course, they're both very different in their own way.
How did I manage to find Hell Girl? Truth be told, no one suggested this to me. How amazing is that? It's like a diamond I've found all by myself against the dirt.
I have no idea what Hell Girl was. It had an interesting title for sure, but nobody talked about it so I don't know anything. When I started watching it, it was "love at first episode". I was so into it that the first episode gave me chills already. Wow. What an amazing effect. How could I stop from there? I'm already watching the season 2 and I'm bound to watch the live action movie of it in the near future.
Another plus for the series is that it has actually a great musical score. Seriously. Though I am not a fan of the opening song of Hell Girl, the ending was a little nice to hear. Death Note had a ridiculous score. Gothic, yes and I like it very much, but it was a bit too much.
So to make all these worth, I will post the first episode of both animes. Don't worry, just the first parts of their first episodes, usually it's the first 10-15 minutes, and then you'll be the judge of this. They will be in English dub for everyone's convenience.
I present Death Note first.
Now, Hell Girl.
There ya go. Of course, both have different universe but you can't help compare them because of their worlds linking to hell and death. However, I personally prefer Hell Girl. What? You think you can get away from wanting someone dead? I don't think so.
I woke up to the sound of Kurt Cobain's voice in my headphones. Lately, I've been trying to get more sleep than usual, and by doing that straight away, I need to listen to my kind of music with nobody else bothering so I can succumb back to my own private world. And it's been amazing for a couple of days now that I've been back to this kind of privilege just so I can get back on my own two feet again.
I wasn't listening to some Nirvana songs. In fact, I don't have their discography downloaded yet. I just get lazy sometimes, so I never bothered to anyway. I was actually re-watching an interview documentary called "About A Son" directed by AJ Schnack. I love hearing Kurt's voice in that entire documentary and felt the idea of listening to him while going to sleep would work.
The first things I heard again was about his early childhood and how him and I are a little similar having psycho dads growing up. I guess in that time I've already fallen asleep for my usual siesta.
And back to where I was saying, I woke up to the sound of Kurt Cobain's voice. I heard him talking about Courtney and how it was really different with how people like to judge her all the time--that she eventually led Kurt to his untimely death and all the while in those few minutes re-watching this documentary, he was talking positively about her. And it occur to me that Courtney didn't make Kurt die. It was the media that destroyed what Kurt loved.
And on and on he went up until his prediction of music in 20 years and how it will be very re-hashed and plagiarized that music will become nothing more than a fashion statement to have an excuse to have a social life. I laughed. Living now after his death, he was very correct.
And as the documentary ended, I cried. A year after that interview was done, he shot himself in the head.
I've always examined myself whether the people I look up to are bad or wrong or entirely different from other people's point of view, and whenever I do, I always agree within me that these rockstars I look up to are not the typical people you meet anyway so why should I bother with other people's judgments about them. They make me sane in anyway possible and that's good enough for me.
And then another thing came up. John Frusciante and Kurt Cobain are alike in some ways. And my grandfather also thinks somewhat like them both. And then I found out that they are actually "Pisces" people. LOL. Geniuses from water, I guess.
That's all for now. I just felt like sharing stuff after waking up.
A/N: Angelikus was just discharged from the hospital a couple of days ago due to allergy and asthma attacks caused by stress and over fatigue. She is in need of bed rest for a week.
It occur to me that ever since I have been given the gift of singing, I have been cheered on by so many people, strangers and friends alike. With this spread of positivity, I was encouraged to join the allegedly famous talent reality shows such as "Pilipinas Got Talent" and "Pinoy Dream Academy."
As you all know I have already auditioned for PDA (Pinoy Dream Academy) 4 years ago and posted a blog entry about it here (if you missed it, here's the post: link). The rejection was one of the most fatal blows in my life and it reverberated in the years after that, that even giving in to my mother's wishes for what my life should be like had become my fuel for living. I began to forget my dreams. That episode in my life I already wrote it here (link).
My mother, no matter how supportive she is, is not comfortable with the idea of me pursuing a musical career. She is the most definite existence known in the universe as the eternal rationalistic. That is enough reason for me to stop talking to her about the future I want for myself.
Now I laugh at the thoughts of the people around me. PDA? PGT? Personally, I have already left the dream of making it through them, but I have never given up on my dreams. My PDA rejection catapulted me into somewhere higher than I know. Though it was very depressing at first, it never stopped me from aiming higher than before.
So why did I laugh? Lemme ask you then. Why would I go back? It's clear that these things are not for me. So why would I wanna embarrass myself? They do not need me, so why would I need them? I sang in front of them once and they have failed to unwrap the package. It's not my fault if they prefer the wrappings than what's inside.
But when I hear people talk to me about auditioning for the shows, I just smirk and the first thing that comes into my mind is : "I have bigger dreams than that."
Experience is the best teacher in life. The rejection led me downward until I were then discovered by Popong Landero, one of the most influential artists in the city, to which I have higher respects for than the judges of the talent reality shows. He complimented me very much as to having such an amazing voice with genuine clearness to it and powerful enough to deliver a quality tune.
That compliment led me to many things, including the president of SAMADhI (Samahan ng mga Musikeros sa Davao, Inc.) Madam Sandra's invitation to sing in one of the stages I've been dreaming to perform in: Taboan at Matina Town Square.
And after performing so many times there, I met musicians new and old from all walks of life in the city. It's one of the most dreadful things I am most anxious about, but it turns out that there are great people to be with.
And my most recent achievement is having to perform in front of 10,000 people at the Solidarity Rally for Inday Sara. The crowd even cheered and sang with us. It was one of the most exciting moments I've ever had.
I'm sure the people around me wants to see me up there achieve higher than what I have. For me, that is a level lower than now. I'm sure you are about as curious what kind of dreams do I have in life.
It is still the same, a musical career, but this time I have laid out every detail that I specifically want. I want to be recording rock artist with a full band in Europe, possibly more into gothic genre or anything that rocks hard with upcoming world tours. And with the suggestion of my beloved cousin in Germany, I will soon grab hold of my dreams and live them. I can't wait!
I am confident and it very rare when I am, but when I am given a small window of opportunity, there is no denying that I will instantly climbed into it with everything I've got. I don't wanna live in regret in the coming years of my life when it is this near to reach them.
And to those who still think that I must climb these steps a little slower than going to Europe for my dreams by joining these shows: like I said, I have bigger dreams than that.
I was originally intending to write something about what our city mayor did: 4 punches onto the stubborn face of the court sheriff who didn't listen to the mayor's plea to give her 2 hours so she can prevent any riot from happening at the demolition site in Agdao, Davao City. I failed. I lost my focus and my anger is just boiling madly inside me that I failed to write something that will hit everyone's skull so my opinion can be embedded right in their brains. Without any privacy at home, I decided to do something else.
If you don't know the story yet, lemme provide you some videos I found concerning our topic today:
I personally dislike the first 2 videos I gave you but I had to post them if you can't understand Tagalog or our dialect Bisaya which is widely used in the Visayas and Mindanao regions. ABS-CBN is a very biased media corporation and the worst employers in the history of the Philippines. I said that because of years of experience. I only got to work in the company as a radio jock for over a year, but that's all. My parents, on the other hand, had 25 years of experience. They sacrificed a lot and they were never compensated. All the company knows is to hire new people because their pay is low. So they ditch the old ones working for years for them just because they can't afford to pay them anymore. What senseless brilliance, I must say.
But enough about that. I came here to write of the (as the titles goes) nonsense rants of non-Davaoeños. It is very degrading to learn that the public, most especially who are not from Davao or have not lived in Davao, are very stupid in their judgments, conclusions and comments. I laugh at every post they make. They speak as if they know. They talk as if they are wise. They judge as if Duterte is their mayor. They conclude as if they have lived here all their lives. They comment as if with a title.
Okay, so I don't have a title and have never graduated college just so you know who the freaking hell is writing this post, but I sure damn well know enough to reason and criticize to get my opinion across with facts in mind. My mother taught me well and I don't need a diploma or a title to prove that.
Back to the topic! (Dammit, I get lost all the time!)
I went through every site and every page I know where people will certainly post their opinions about the incident. YouTube has a lot of them and I have spent a day to prove these idiots wrong. Yes, one day just commenting over and over again. It does sound kinda sad, but it was the only way to convey what I wanna say. I am after all gathering my wits to write it here, something I have to do before I can babble on senseless things like the rest.
What really made me laugh at the brains of some of these people are the ones who are not even from Davao City or have not lived nor experienced the life here. It's perfectly clear they missed out the whole story.
I've even checked out some Facebook pages where I know that these kind of people would post their half-assed comments. Here are some of the screenshots I've taken: (I do apologize but some of them are not in English)
This guy said that the mayor is an embarrassment because of what she did. He's also wondering what are other things she could do without the cameras. He's from Sta. Mesa, Manila. The comments below him are siding him who are from Quezon, Baguio, and Rizal respectively. None of them are from Davao.
This one is actually praising the mayor and from Davao City but the last comment is not siding her stating that she should've just scolded him and that she had displayed an abuse of power. She wondered if the mayor had no bodyguards then, what would've happened.
I later found out that the page I went to wasn't really the official page. I searched for the other one where there are even more idiots talking there. I am not calling names. They are really idiots who talk like they know shit. They will really raise your eyebrows with what they are saying. Gotta hand it to Bayan Mo, iPatrol Mo: Ako ang Simula (which is also from ABS-CBN) for attracting dimwits always complaining but never helping.
This post is from a girl who is half trolling but totally wrong with her facts. She says that what the mayor did was against human rights. I can't believe how single-minded this person is. Apparently, she failed to see the riot in the demolition site. Get real, kid. Pfft.
There are a lot more of these people who talk nonsense at all. They don't even know the story. There was even one post that mentioned Davao as a "province". I totally laughed my brains out. Seriously, is this what the capital has? Filled with idiotic citizens who know nothing but complain a lot with gibberish? As if it isn't enough that the prices of their products are insanely expensive? Lemme ROFLMALOL for a moment.
Somehow, there are some Davaoeños who are against of the mayor's actions. When I carefully read their complaints, it's as vivid as ever before that these people also didn't know the whole story. The mayor had explained herself countless times on T.V. and radio what happened and the plans she made before the demolition order could begin. It pays to know, people. Do your homework!
Now comes the question. Why am I defending, supporting and proud of the mayor? If you are from Davao or have lived here for so long, you'll know that the Duterte's had been keeping peace and order in the city for decades. They cleaned the streets from criminals and have even started a city ordinance for anti-smoking and liquor ban. From Mayor Sara Duterte's father, Vice Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, it all began with him: a former mayor and the people's pride for protecting the city. The Duterte's never left Davao. They never dreamed for a position in Congress nor in the Senate. They remained in Davao keeping everything intact, safe and progressing the city while opening its doors to the world. They are a family of leaders that the city knows so well. Their reputation never fails their actions. There are so many things about the Duterte's and I might have not included them here now because I forgot, but one thing's for sure, the people know them and love them and that is why the people have voted for them.
Above all these negative comments and criticisms, there still remains the strength of the leader to her people:
Now, off we go to save Davao from the victims of the recent flash flood. Yes, we have other problems to face and a true Davaoeño possesses strength to face them all.
A/N: Did you see how she dispersed the riot herself without arms? The police couldn't even do that! The people respects her. Too bad the court sheriff and the judge didn't. LOL. Go Mayor!
The time has come for the queen of my kennel to go and be happy with a new life ahead of her. At the age of 5, I have already made up my mind to adopt her to a familiar friend, my late brother Deo's best friend Mike who was also a triathlete and was the last person my brother texted before he died. Mike had accepted my offer and this morning he left our abode with Pazzy in his care.
She has been the mother, grandmother and great grandmother of so many Basset Hounds in the city and I believe she has already given so much to my brother's legacy.
My mission is finished. I have done what my late brother would've wanted. And now it's time to retire Pazzy and give her a good senior life with her new family. She had been the sweetest of all dogs I've ever had and I will never forget the dawn I saw how good of a mother she was.
I will miss you, Pazzy. Mike will take care of you now. I'm sure you will enjoy the life ahead of you. Mike has been a good friend to my brother and I'm sure he will take good care of the greatest contributor of my brother's keep: Pazzy.
