Kurt's White Star Lilies

You may call me ridiculously pathetic but I have never watched "Nirvana: Unplugged in New York" until Chinese New Year of 2011. The session was recorded in 1994 so you can just imagine the big gap of then and now. What have I been doing to miss it all this time? Apparently, I have so much going on in my life that I never got the chance in 17 years.

I became a "rocker" in '98 after discovering Silverchair's "Freak Show" cassette tape in my cousin's room. Back then, I was more into the Backstreet Boys and Boyzone. Yep, I was a "pre-teeny bopper" and my brothers love to tease me with it, but when I heard "No Association" by Silverchair, it was a complete 180 that I ditched all of my boyband tape collection. I was in for a wild ride.

T'was rather a ride too late. 1998 was the boom of Alternative and Grunge was fast disappearing. I did a lot of coping up and I started with Silverchair, then Oasis, the Verve Pipe, Live, Smashing Pumpkins and a whole lot more, but whenever I start reading about Silverchair again, I kept noticing the group "Nirvana" always mentioned because fans kept comparing both of them in number, color and style.

So I did my research and found out that Nirvana was the origin of Grunge to boom on mainstream. It was a very big discovery for me and Kurt Cobain's death eludes me more to the most phenomenal story in the rock music industry.

In the early 2000s, a friend of mine lent me a rock magazine which contained stories from MTV about the before and after of Nirvana's Unplugged session in their studio. A dude from MTV was in a Nirvana concert to catch up with them so they can talk about their session. Kurt mentioned of arranging their set with White Star Lilies and black candles while Dave Grohl (drummer) and Krist Novoselic (bassist) were figuring out what instruments to use for their acoustic session. Much to their surprise, the guy from MTV was kind enough to borrow a few things for them.

I forgot the name of this dude and since I have no room in our house, my things are all boxed up and it's too much pain to find that rock magazine through all that pile.

So anyway, the group never had a proper practice. They haven't got a clue on how to bring acoustic feel to some of their songs or what songs should they play. When the question about why "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was not included, Kurt said that it was ridiculous.

The article went on to the actual Unplugged session that would leave a historical mark on the rock music industry.

It also described the feel of the set. A few paragraphs back, I mentioned of Kurt's request to MTV to decorate their stage with White Star Lilies and black candles. Back then, I didn't know how it would look like in reality so random images pop into my mind as the writer went on as how it was so "funeral-like". He also wrote that it was like he was singing in his own funeral.

And then months later, he passed away.

Recalling the details that I could gather from my last read on that article, it became more clear as to what the writer was telling his readers. He was right. After watching the session, it did feel like he was singing in his own funeral. The backdrop was big red drapes basking in a dim light, almost looking silhouette. The stage at the center, the audience around them, with White Star Lilies set in stillness around their equipment. The black candles lit on black candleholders arranged in varying heights. MTV did what Kurt asked.

My favorite song from their Unplugged was "Pennyroyal Tea". I was unknowingly holding my breath when he reached for the high notes which also reminded me that Kurt, as much as he wanted to be recognized as a songwriter rather than a singer, loves to always push his vocal limits. It rekindled in me as to why Kurt Cobain is one of my inspirations to be a vocalist.

So even though I was 17 years late, I'm glad that the experience was brand new for me. Seeing Kurt sing seemed like going back to the way it was, back to the time when music actually mattered.