Goodbye, Evanescence

For the longest time, I have been a big fan of Evanescence. Although I don't follow the band's life in general, their music was much more important to me than controversies--especially with Amy Lee's case having been in a relationship with Seether's vocalist for the longest time but parted ways bitterly. The album the band released after her breakup with Shaun was "The Open Door". I instantly bought it with my own money when it was out.

I first heard the band while I was a DJ in M.O.R. Cotabato. Like everyone else, I listened to "Bring Me To Life" and I got completely hook. And just like everyone else, their music was confused by the mainstream as a mixture of goth and something else. I was one of those that got fooled by this mix up but I am glad that it had been cleared out sooner.

Their music was dark, there is no denying to that. What's more amazing is the band's vocals. Amy Lee has a great voice and to front a band with a voice like that singing with music like that was just like one of the many dreams I wanna achieve in life. I simply wanna be in her state as well, so becoming a powerful vocalist had been my passion for a decade. So far, I have achieved this aspect in my life in some sort of a way, but still I need more practice. Having known Amy Lee's adolescence as a member of their school choir, that even made it harder for me since I have never been part of the choir in my high school. In fact, I refrained from it because of my introvert personality then.

I did what I can to improve myself and just by listening to Evanescence made me go further as a vocalist. Even today, my talent was because of my perseverance and drive to be just like Amy Lee in Evanescence in a much darker sense.

"The Open Door" was the second album I bought from them (the first one was "Fallen"). So having heard the news of their new album release got me all excited. I even listened to the lyrics video that they posted in Vevo. And while it wasn't that dark as I expected it to be, I still hear her powerful voice. That alone was enough for me to decide to buy their new album when it finally comes out in our local music stores.

Today, I saw the update from their Facebook page about their new video up in Vevo. For the longest time, I have endured what this music video site has done to viewers like me. With their whoring of licences for copyrights on YouTube, they are able to diminish other channels from uploading originals because of "supposed" copyright infringement. Obviously, this is a capitalist movement and today they have finally done it when they successfully made it impossible for the rest of the world to watch Evanescence's new video of their new single from their new album. Simply put, I can't watch the video.

And this is why I have decided to end my fandom with the band (just like when I stopped listening to Silverchair when "Young Modern" came out). By allowing the capitalists to own their rights and making it exclusive only in the U.S., I am disappointed. I have no reason to support this band anymore. I have always looked up to them and hoped that everything goes well for the band after all that shit they have gone through, but this is just too much to take. Shutting the door in my face just because I am not from America? Amazing way to impress fans worldwide.

So now, I bid my farewell to Evanescence. It had been an experience quite memorable, even a passion unforgettable, but I think looking up to them was a regrettable mistake. True that it improved my talents, but maybe I should've looked somewhere else instead to continue more of this sparked drive.

Which reminds me... Tarja Turunen anyone? Tee hee~

Inner Goth

Lately, I've been getting in touch with my inner goth. What is it exactly? It's sorta like I feel gothic but I can't seem to express it in fear of being judged by family members. I know how they can be the most difficult people in your life and it's confusing why they do it out of love and protection.

I have just been recently throwing my inhibitions of family judgment away from myself. It had been holding me back for many years and I am very regretful why nobody told me to believe in myself sooner than now. I've lived a rough childhood with my brothers and I had to experience first-hand the cruel ways of life. As they say, "experience is the best teacher", but not everyone can handle these experiences very well.

I have to discover everything all by myself.

Now in my late 20's, I feel rather more like of a child than an adult when I should be like an adult. Matters of figures somehow reminds me of one of the very first children's books I've read by Exupery ("The Little Prince").

I found out in my early 20's that people in my age at that time are in a state of  "identity crisis" and that it is quite normal for us to be ever searching for something in our lives to finally represent ourselves to the world. That may include being true to yourself while majority tend to become who they are not. It's a frustrating battle within yourself and it takes a pretty toll in our time.

In my case, it was rather difficult having to experience tragedy before I can even get to decide who I am really in life. I've always embraced my Grunge roots and Metal had always been my outlet for my anger management issues. Industrial gave me a great deal of fun and Alt gave me great friends to mingle. Somehow, Goth had a very special place in all of it eventhough my only source of goth music are most particularly from the mainstream which doesn't really tap into the real Goth music.

So what really Goth people are like? From my point of view, Goths are a bunch of intelligent and polite people embracing the darker and weirder and stranger sides of life. Somehow, I do embrace the insanity, the madness, the darker depths and the weird. And that is why I feel the inner Goth in me.

And since my inhibitions are long gone, I'm slowly transforming myself to what I really wanna represent myself to the world. Whatever that is, I think we'll just have to wait and see. One thing's for sure though, I am embracing the dark side with kind arms.

Hell Girl VS Death Note

What? What is all this? Did I just make a debate for myself? All these dark entities brooding right before me is making my creative juices flow like they've never before. Well, maybe a little but it really got me curious to the point of actually writing a blog for it.

Okay so, do I really need to tell you all the summaries of these two animes? Come on. Go figure it out yourself. I'm not gonna feed you with that. I'm here to express my thoughts on this debate.

On this debate, I choose Hell Girl. Why? Simple. Right on the first episode I got hooked. With Death Note, there was nothing. I even went to watching 4 more episodes just to pique my interests, but none. I don't understand why the story has to be that complicated that I have to watch 4 episodes with nothingness.

Death Note was born onto the mainstream because of, well, people--specifically kids, teenagers to be exact. Putting up "L" on their Facebook profile pictures, declaring how they loved the series. I admire their passion, really, but I don't see the point of loving it too much. It's getting too popular and conventional that I just practically ignored it and continued watching "Higashi no Eden" (Eden of the East) at the time when I was offered to watch Death Note to balance my opinions out.

I couldn't really understand it. The prologue took about 3 episodes for the anime series to explain the story. On the 4th ep, my friend told me that it's where the story gets pumping. And I'm like, "You know what? Screw this shit. I'm already on my 4th ep and I still get nothing? I watched the first episode of Higashi no Eden and I was completely hooked. I even watched 3 of the movies!" He was still taunting me to watch the 5th as a passive suggestion to me just so I could get interested, but I am stubborn and I never get to watching the next episode.

Now, I can't shake the similarities of Hell Girl to Death Note, but, of course, they're both very different in their own way.

How did I manage to find Hell Girl? Truth be told, no one suggested this to me. How amazing is that? It's like a diamond I've found all by myself against the dirt.

I have no idea what Hell Girl was. It had an interesting title for sure, but nobody talked about it so I don't know anything. When I started watching it, it was "love at first episode". I was so into it that the first episode gave me chills already. Wow. What an amazing effect. How could I stop from there? I'm already watching the season 2 and I'm bound to watch the live action movie of it in the near future.

Another plus for the series is that it has actually a great musical score. Seriously. Though I am not a fan of the opening song of Hell Girl, the ending was a little nice to hear. Death Note had a ridiculous score. Gothic, yes and I like it very much, but it was a bit too much.

So to make all these worth, I will post the first episode of both animes. Don't worry, just the first parts of their first episodes, usually it's the first 10-15 minutes, and then you'll be the judge of this. They will be in English dub for everyone's convenience.

I present Death Note first.

Now, Hell Girl.

There ya go. Of course, both have different universe but you can't help compare them because of their worlds linking to hell and death. However, I personally prefer Hell Girl. What? You think you can get away from wanting someone dead? I don't think so.